This week our boys have had contact with their sisters. They get so excited about seeing any family and often wake at the crack of dawn on the day. They like to exchange little gifts when they see each other and I had purchased signs that said "don't let anyone dull your sparkle" for each of them. The sisters brought them vast amounts of chocolate which I had to "look after" as I knew it would all be eaten by the time I came to pick them back up!!
The sisters had been like mini mums to the boys and you can see that they worry about whether they are being cared for and that they are happy.
I think that it is so important to build positive relationships with the birth families, especially the parents. For me it's a big part of looking after the children. You have to put aside the history, you might not want to but, children are not silly, they can pick up on vibes and they can feel if things aren't right.
If the parents trust you, the children are more likely to do so, too. They can hear the way you talk to each other, read body language, and parents will often open up to you and confide.
Whatever they have done to the their children, for most, the children are still the most precious things in their lives.
Your Theapeutically Led Care (TLC) social worker can always advise you if you are unsure of how to handle things or what to say. I try and go with my gut instinct, but always have my professional head on!
I once had to remove a child from the home with the social worker. It was the only way she was voluntarily going to hand over her child. She wanted to meet me and handed over her child to me. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do and certainly not the norm, but going that extra mile showed that mum what I was all about. Eight months later, I got to give her back and we're all still in contact !
from The Von Trapps!